Tag Archives: think

My thoughts on relationships…and how to keep one

Standard

To my loyal readers… I have missed you!  Sorry that I have been gone for so long… I have been through quite a few things over the past year.  Some good… some bad… some sad but turned into better.  I logged into my blog for the first time last  night in, I guess a year… and found that I still had readers… I’ve had a few thousand hits… wow!   So I decided to get back to blogging.  Thanks for reading.  :)

One thing this brown eyed girl has learned… is that you are never too old to learn anything.  AND just when you think you have it all figured out… uh oh.  That’s a sure sign you don’t!!   Don’t take ANYTHING for granted.  Especially your relationships.  Calm skies can turn into nightmarish tornadoes with no warning.  At least… no warnings that you really pay attention to.  I learned this the hard way.  And no, I am not talking about real tornadoes… although we sure have had enough of those!!   Speaking of… I want to convey my sincerest sympathies to those who have been affected by the deadly tornadoes lately.  My heart just goes out to you all.  :'(

Today it’s on my mind to talk a little about… relationships.  Of all sorts.  There is one deadly ingredient, that will choke any relationship quicker than anything.  That thing is… control.  It’s a nasty, 7-letter word, that is as sneaky as hell.  It hides in all kinds of disguises… love… concern… religion.  Those are the main three where it likes to rear its ugly head.  It slowly chokes you, and those around you… and by the time you wake up to see the damage… the storm has ripped through and you are left wondering what just happened.  Many times, those who are doing the controlling don’t even recognize it, because they have been slowly and silently controlled all their lives too.  It’s a vicious cycle.  It takes a major upheaval sometimes to give a wake up call.

So what do we do?  First of all… just STOP.  Stop trying to be God.  In effect, that’s what we do.  We think that if we don’t run things (which usually involves running PEOPLE, we just don’t look at it that deeply yet) who will?  SOMEBODY that knows what they’re doing has to tell all the good people what to do.  What to think.  What to believe.  When they’re right or wrong.  And as a devoutly religious person, I was really good at it.  I thought I was doing what was good for the people I love and only until much later did I realize I was doing just the opposite… turning them away.  My world crashed around me.  And I realized I had to do some soul searching on my own self.  I was so busy “condemning sin” and making sure everybody around me lived the right way… I didn’t even see it myself.  When I look back on things in the past in my relationships… I shudder.  I must have been so horrible to be around and I didn’t even know it.  And that led me to question some other things in my own belief system, and do some spring cleaning on my heart.  I needed to make some long overdue changes in my own life.

Control is something that we have no business messing with.  We want to control something?  We want to control someone?  Let’s focus on controlling ourselves!  And leave it there.  If we can keep our own self control then we’ll be doing great.  But controlling others… even subtle manipulations for “all the right reasons” … has to become a thing of the past.  And if you think about it.. it’s so stressful, worrying what everyone else is doing!  Just let it go.  You cannot imagine the feeling of freedom it brings, to not have to be in control of everything.  Let people police themselves.  If you’re worried about the state of their soul… well, you know what?  It’s their soul.  Not yours.  Let them deal with it in their own way… and you just worry about you.  That is a full time job… I know first hand.  My plate is full enough just dealing with my own life.

Today I am a new person.  I am a free spirit.  No one tells me what to believe, or do, or think… and I don’t tell anyone else.  I don’t follow the leader blindly… today, I am my own leader.   I follow no one… I lead no one.  But you are more than welcome to walk beside me.  I found out that the greatest gift you can give anyone is the gift of acceptance.  Everyone wants to know they are loved and accepted just as they are.  No matter what they watch… or do in their private time… or the words they speak… we all just want to be accepted and loved for who we are.  And if those closest to us can’t accept that… can’t accept us for who we are… then we have to make changes.  Hopefully if someone truly loves you, they will have their own awakening… do their own soul searching… and meet you where you are… but if that loved one is unable to accept the truth of who you are, of what you need for acceptance… then that needs to be addressed, and decisions need to be made.   But this must be discussed… don’t make the mistake of just thinking that person would not listen to you.  If they love you… they will listen.  Give them a chance to rise to the occasion before you make the choice to leave… and then take it from there.   I was fortunate, in that the one I love was able to talk with me, and we made some needed changes in acceptance and understanding, for both of us. After taking a long hard look at how I had made others feel… I understood their viewpoint… and I realized they needed a heartfelt apology from me too, not just them.  Yes they had made mistakes, but I had to acknowledge that so had I!  And how would I have felt in their shoes?  These are tough questions we have to ask ourselves, and they are not easy to look at, especially when we feel the answers present themselves to our heart.

I will never make the same  mistake again of thinking I have to control… on any level… what someone else does.  And I have to say that since we have come to that understanding.. we have both felt more liberated, at ease… and our relationship is the best it has ever been, in 13 years.  I will say, this is my marital relationship.  It’s like we are dating all over again… only better than it ever was.  The change has been unbelievable!  And I am grateful that we had that opportunity. I would recommend it to anyone.  A little love and acceptance goes a long way.  When there is love and acceptance, there is no longer room for control.  

There is a song by Meredith Brooks called “It Don’t Get Better” and the song asks this question:  “Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?”

You know what?  Heck with control…

I want to be happy.

And so… these are my deep thoughts this morning.

Have a great day!!  :)

Hugs to all of you…

Amy


Advertisements

Swine Flu numbers misreported, distorted?

Standard

According to several things I have been reading and hearing lately… this could be the case. My own alert from the RSOE says the following this morning:

“So far, 168 people are suspected to have died from the H1N1 strain of swine flu in Mexico, although the authorities there put the number of confirmed deaths at 12. Mexicans have been told to stay away from work for five days after the WHO said a swine flu pandemic was “imminent”.

There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE between 168 and 12!!  Read for yourself here: http://www.idemc.org/read/index.php?pageid=news_read&news_id=40

Here’s one example, from CNN’s Jack Cafferty (click the link for more):

“The WHO has confirmed 257 cases of swine flu worldwide. 97 cases in Mexico, with seven deaths. Mexican officials have reported much higher numbers — 2,500 cases and more than 150 deaths — but those numbers haven’t been confirmed. In the U.S., the WHO says there are 109 confirmed cases with 1 death. Out of a population of more than 300 million people, that hardly seems to be cause for alarm.

And scientists who are studying the virus say this strain of influenza doesn’t look as deadly as strains that have caused previous pandemics. In fact, some suggest that the current form of the swine flu virus may not even do as much damage as the regular flu.

More than 13,000 people in the U.S. have died of complications from seasonal flu since January; and it’s expected to continue killing hundreds of people a week. In total, about 36,000 people a year die from the flu in this country; and worldwide, the annual death toll is somewhere between 250,000 and 500,000.

One scientist tells the Los Angeles Times that just because the swine flu is being identified in more countries doesn’t mean it’s spreading especially quickly, saying: “You don’t ever find anything that you don’t look for.”

I have quite a few conclusions this leads me to, in my own mind.  None of them pretty.  The big question is why, if this information was already known, is it just now coming out? Sorry but as Elmer Fudd would say… in my opinion… “There’s something awfully screwy going on around here!” *done in my best Elmer Fudd voice, of course*

Timely podcast from infowars… click here to play in your Windows Media, WinAmp, Real Player, I-Tunes, etc.  http://xml.nfowars.net/Alex.rss